Gaytheist: Coming Out of My Orthodox Childhood is Lonnie Mann’s graphic memoir about growing up in and eventually leaving his Orthodox Jewish family and community.
His family’s religious lifestyle served rigid cultural norms, especially around gender, sexuality, and traditional family life. Mann portrays the burden of his parents’ expectations, their angry outbursts, and their harsh and punitive nature. For example, Lonnie’s dad, sick of his son’s moping, forces him to remain at the dinner table until Lonnie shares why he has been so upset lately. Rather than inviting conversation, his dad sits silently nursing a shot, until Lonnie writes “I’m gay” on a piece of paper and hands it to him. After getting into a fight with his mom, Lonnie has to prepare his own lunches and dinners because his mom stops cooking for him. Lonnie eventually makes some close friends he can be himself around. He explains, “Becoming friends with Michelle and her other non-Orthodox friends felt like a series of short mental vacations. From the emotional prison of my family…from my community’s expectations of me marrying a girl…from the nearly endless list of moment-to-moment religious rules that controlled my every action…” (250).
The artwork consists of mostly pale watercolors and gentle lines. It lends some softness to the heavy themes of the story and intensifies when it needs to. The most emotional scenes involve Lonnie’s interactions with his parents. The coming out to his dad scene includes two full page panels without any text. A crying Lonnie hands the confessional paper to his dad. The opposite page is split, with a close-up of Lonnie sobbing on one side, and a close-up of his dad looking forlornly down at the paper on the other side. The colors are contrasting blues and yellows, creating a powerful visual representation. Later, while on a drive with his mom, Lonnie mentions to her that he won’t always be Orthodox. She blows up at him, and the rage on her face, with Lonnie terrified in the back seat of the car, clearly demonstrates what their relationship has become and why Lonnie needs to get away.
Gaytheist shines a light on Orthodox Jewish life and its rejection of homosexuality and other nonconformist identities. It offers a personal, highly emotional story that teenage and adult readers can connect with. Fans of both coming out and coming-of-age stories will enjoy Mann’s book.
Gaytheist: Coming Out of My Orthodox Childhood
By Lonnie Mann
Art by Lonnie Mann, Ryan Gatts
Street Noise Books, 2024
ISBN: 9781951491277
NFNT Age Recommendation: Adult (18+), Older Teen (16-18)
Creator Representation: Gay
Character Representation: Gay, Jewish
